To All Beginnings!
The thought of beginning something at times is even more painful than continuing with what has already begun. It's not just a matter of finding the right words, but allowing yourself to go for it!
For a long time I was thinking about what it could be that kept me from actually starting to write my first post. The right words, the right thoughts or the right mindset? It is a variety of things, but often it is just not clear. As if I got caught in a spiderweb, which — if I were a fly — I should have seen coming with my compound eyes. Should have been able to see the slightest movement on the wide field, but yet I missed the it: A fine construct of thin silken strings of lies. Placed right between the branches of the tree of life. A trap set up by an entity ready to devour me. And then there it was. The architect of the web: Fear.
Fear is a weird construct. It’s less an emotion, but rather a response to threat. Without it our cave dwelling ancestors would’ve been easy prey. Fear is a useful tool to assess the danger of a situation. Is it safe to get those berries? Is that movement in the bushes over there a predator? Many things can trigger the mechanism, like: sound, smell, colors and shapes, touch and taste. Fear is our survival wild card. But just like the sun gives life and can take it away in an event of self destruction, overactive fear can make everything seem dangerous, even if it isn't.
Humanity has dealt with many disasters and threats. Wars have devastated the world before. And your own family could harm you in many more ways than just physically. Sometimes the fear response is so high, that even the thought of getting oneself out there might trigger the Fight or Flight response.
It has never been easier to NOT do something like it is today, and yet the sheer act of inaction can feel overwhelming by the fact that one didn’t do the thing – whatever it might be. It is almost like everything is a threat now. And that is understandable.
But fear was not the only thing keeping me from writing my first post. It was the fear of the fear itself. Worries of if or when I may be struck by fear again. The mere thought of it, turning into crippling fear itself. Like a self fulfilling prophecy. And the web of lies being spun throughout my mind, was constructed by this beast. Every strand of this web was placed there by a specific event, and the many more strands that followed served as proof of failure. So when one string is triggered, they all begin to vibrate in a chain reaction spreading throughout the web, ready to trap me in what I simply call the ‘Whirlwind’. A state of mind, that is best translated into: ‘overwhelmed by the fears of fear itself’.
Fear Is Not Your Enemy
Stop fighting fear! That’s the conclusion I came to (for myself).
It is a logical and reasonable response to a stressful situation and pressure. Fear is the engine that signals the brain to get aware and shoot out adrenaline. It prepares you to proceed with caution ready or to reconsider your steps altogether before jumping into a dangerous situation. To give you the right boost to maximize your chances for survival. But it’s crippling when the strands in place keep podding at failure.
Transforming fear into action needs to be learned. It is a process everyone needs to go through themselves. But you don’t have to do it alone.
I found that untangling the web of lies, recognizing which of those strings lead to the whirlwind and the origin of the beast, can be achieved through various ways. Therapy is a great way to do that. And the most important thing is: You are allowed to take that help! And you are allowed to shape the therapy sessions how it feels right for you! There is no right or wrong here. Unlike our ancestors, most of us no longer live in constant life or death situations anymore. But even if we did, the principles to work with your fear and find ways to use it to your advantage as a practical tool, are the same. The key is training.
Just like most things in life, be it growing muscles, learning a new language or improving your math skills, you need to train. Learning to “overcome fear“ is a process. It cannot just be done, it must be aquired, nurtured and reassessed over and over again.
“Fear is not your enemy. It is a powerful source of energy that can be harnessed and used for your benefit.”
―Russ Harris, The Confidence Gap
And with this I am ending my first post. I probably could write an entire book about this topic, if I could bring up the patience to actually go through with it. But as I am preaching the process, I myself am still in the process. My fears are not my friends yet. But I am on the way there and so are you! One strand at a time!
JayJay out and Lídiant Wíalë <3
PS: If you are still reading, I got a question for you. And if you want, maybe answer on it in the comments: What is something you really want to do, but fear keeps you from doing it?
PPS: Still here? I feel honoured :D If you want you can share with me, what kept you til the end and if there is anything you would like me to write about in my future posts! See you around! JayJay out! <3